9 More Quick and Easy ways to take some Pressure off yourself as a Parent

By Janet Powell, The Parenting Coach, Mentor Maestro

• Ask yourself “Whose problem is it?” when someone in the family unloads a problem on you. If the issue is not affecting you, then it’s probably not your problem. So you don’t have to provide the solution. (You may want to help the other person find their own solution, of course.)
• Foster independence and resilience in your children by not jumping in to help the minute they have a difficulty. Let them know you are there for support, but encourage them to work through the difficulty themselves. Giving children a way to find a solution to a problem is more empowering for them than giving your solution to their problem. And it’s more likely to work for them.
• Allow your child to “have a go” at doing something for the first time – you might be surprised at how much she/he can achieve without your input. Children are often more capable than we give them credit for.
• Listen to your child with the questions in the back of your mind – What is she/he feeling? What does she/he need? This makes it easier to respond appropriately and meet that need quickly, saving you time and stress.
• Let your family know of your plans in advance if the plans will have an impact on them. For instance, when you need the car or that you will be out at a mealtime. This can prevent conflict and is especially important if you have teenagers!
• Give your children clear and sufficient warning of when you all need to be out the door. For young children, a couple of comments may be required to let them know how and when to be ready. But for older children, repeated reminders can be viewed as nagging.
• Shift the responsibility for the children’s equipment - kinder bag, school bag, lunch box, sports bag, etc. – onto the owners of these items – the children. Practise packing these bags with your child before she/he starts kindergarten and school, and then encourage them to carry the bags themselves.
• Check in with your children to see if they are happy with something you want the family to do. A quick discussion before an event can save a lot of frustration and shows respect for the children. Sometimes they have good ideas, too!
• And above all, let your children (and your partner!) know of your feelings and needs if you want them to be understanding and involved in meeting those needs.

Janet Powell, The Parenting Coach, of Mentor Maestro can help you find the answers within yourself to your parenting challenges. You will learn how a simple process can have you achieving your goals in your family more often, more calmly, with our unique programmes. For more Helpful Hints, visit www.mentormaestro.com, sign up for the free e-newsletter, contact janet@mentormaestro.com for details of the next programme, or call Janet on 9889-3991. Find out how your parenting can be easier and more fun! Individual parent coaching now available in person or over the ‘phone.